5 Questions To Help You Decide If Your Career Has Taken Over Your Life
5 Questions To Help You Decide If Your Career Has Taken Over Your Life
Don't lose yourself in the grind.
Despite working extremely hard their entire lives to reach their current position, many people with high-pressure positions find themselves dissatisfied with their careers.
Hating your job is one thing, but what happens if you become so inextricably linked to it that you begin to hate yourself as well?
‘Enmeshment’ is a term used by psychologists to describe a scenario in which personal identities are diminished and lines between persons are blurred. The growth of a solid, independent sense of self is then, hindered by enmeshment.
Longer Hours = Prestige & Promotion
Working longer hours is frequently rewarded in many high-pressure professions with pay hikes, status, and promotions.
When you engage in any intense activity for the great majority of your waking hours, that activity will tend to become more and more central to your identity — if only because it has displaced other activities and relationships with which you might identify.
Your Community Values Your Career Above You
Careers or career achievements are often, largely valued in one’s family or community.
When career success is seen as the ultimate life goal, individuals can feel disconnected from their family and peers if they fail to (or simply choose not to) achieve a certain position of professional success.
This fear of failure and isolation drives people to center their lives on achieving what's anticipated of them. This intense focus and drive, however, force their identities to ultimately become synonymous with their work.
You Depend On A Certain Lifestyle
When jobs are paired with a big salary, individuals can find themselves launched into a new socioeconomic class where they base their importance on how people perceive them.
Our identities are highly influenced by how we present ourselves to others. When someone forms an identity concentrated around wealth, achievement, and influence, they tie themselves to that career that got them there.
How Do You Know If You Have Become Enmeshed With Your Career?
It’s easy to become enmeshed. Especially when you’re stuck in the grind of work daily. However, consider the following questions and answer them honestly:
1. How much do you think about your job outside of the office?
Is your mind frequently consumed with work-related thoughts? Is it difficult to participate in conversations with others that are not about your work?
2. How do you describe yourself?
How much of your description is tied up in your job, title, or company? Are there any other ways you would describe yourself? How quickly do you tell people you’ve just met about your career?
3. Where do you spend most of your time?
Has anyone ever complained to you that you are in the office too much? This could be family, friends, coworkers, etc.
4. Do you have hobbies outside of work that do not directly involve your work-related skills and abilities?
Are you able to consistently spend your time exercising other parts of your brain?
5. How would you feel if you could no longer continue in your profession?
How distressing would this be to you? Would you feel the same amount of pride and self-confidence that you feel today?
Many people may already be enmeshed without knowing it. But, we don’t want to let it slide and come to a point in our lives when we are no longer able to pursue our careers and all of a sudden, find ourselves in an existential crisis.
But like any problem, the first step to resolution is acknowledgement and the above 5 questions can help you figure that out today.